So my mom was explaining how to remove a fish bone from the throat and then this conversation went down. Seriously I don’t know why im so stupid.
Me: (interrupts mom) by the way, does anybody here know how to perform a Heimlich remover?
Sister: A what? (giggles)
Me: (feeling unsure of myself) umm.. A heimrich remover
Sister: (laughs hysterically)
Me: BITCH IF YOU COULD STOP LAUGHING AT ME AND TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG BEFORE I SHOVE THIS CHICKEN BONE DOWN YOUR THROAT AND -
Sister: Its MANEUVER DUMBASS.
So this happened to me yesterday..
Me: Does this train station have an intercourse?
Me: Does it have an intercourse? So that we can get to the other side of the tracks?
Friend: No.. And I think you mean concourse..
That feeling when you think of the most awkward thing you have done in the past and you just..
I’ve been practicing my Malay in my head quite a lot lately and one of the scenarios where i would have to use my Malay is when i ask a cab driver how to get to Ampang from the airport. The conversation goes like this..
ME: “Kuya, macam mana nak pergi ke Ampang dari sini?”
CAB DRIVER: “Mana dekat Ampang?”
ME: “Dekat Ampang Point malapit sa Flamingo Hotel.”
And i dont realise that i have called the driver ‘Kuya’ nor do i realise that i have said ‘malapit sa’. I have had a lot of these conversations in my head and i have had worse conversations. I have lost control of my Malay and my Tagalog.